Friday, September 28

Lucky Dog




People who do not travel much often romanticise jobs that require travel. Twelve years ago I had a job that required a lot of travel, mostly by car - 70,000 road miles, 40,000 air miles, and 250ish hotel nights a year worth. I was proud of the fact that I drove more miles on snow and ice in rural areas than most people drive on any road in an entire year and I could do it better/faster/safer. Over two plus years I saw most of the Western US, went to Canada, Mexico, England, Amsterdam, and Germany.


My new job again requires substantial travel (40-50%+) but fortunately (or not) it is mostly by air. Sure... some people get to travel the world to exotic locations like Europe, Australia, China, Japan, or India. Not me.


Well almost... The week prior to my first day on the job, I received an urgent email asking me to expedite a passport renewal by the fastest FedEx delivery method for a trip to Sao Paulo, Brazil being planned for 10 days later (second week on the job). This sounded exciting although it was reminiscient of my Germany trip... in which I was underprepared for traveling into a foreign language zone.


My family and I packed up the car, saw the movers off, and quickly drove across the country to my new job. Through the first week there was some activity in trying to make preparations for the trip when at the last minute (too late for a Visa) my passport arrived and plans quickly changed sending me to Kalamazoo, Michigan. You've got to be kidding, right? There really is a Kalamazoo? Instead of going to Brazil we would be going to a small town in Western Michigan? Duty called and I went.


My travels have not been very exotic, so far. The last couple months the frequency has been increasing, spending time every week out of town.


Am I a lucky dog for "getting to see the country"? Let me describe this weeks travel and let you decide for yourself.


MONDAY


I went to work in my office and put in about 9 hours and went to a couple of meetings.


TUESDAY


I went to work in my office and put in about 6 hours before going home two hours early to pack my bags. My employer uses a limo service to take local employees to the airport, a very nice perk if you have ever experienced the NJ Parkway and Turnpike anywhere near Exit 13.


The driver dutifully showed up at 4:15pm with a coworker already on board. We quickly made it to the airport by 4:50pm only running two cars off the road in the process. The car was a stretch limo complete with party lights and an empty decanter that needed to pickup a large group at the airport after dropping us off. My coworker says our office mates hassled him when they saw the ride, I don't blame. After all we are lucky dogs, right?


The flight was scheduled for 7:00pm so we dropped off our luggage at the curbside checkin and quickly made it through security. A nearby Starbucks provided some java to go (don't waste your money outside of security because they won't let you bring it through!). Getting to our assigned gate almost two hours early means that at least two other flights worth of people are waiting in the seats for their flights, limiting the choices of good airport seating. The stools in the nearby Samuel Adams pub are much more comfortable and are ergonomically designed to prepare your ass for a long flight, so we chose our favorite seats offering an excellent people watching viewpoint. It was 5:30 by then, otherwise known as beer-thirty so... we might as well get a beer to pass the time and offer additional people watching opportunities.


Gate assignments and departure times frequently change at Newark International Airport. They treat every flight as if it was arriving or departing by complete surprise. This leg of the trip was no exception since our gate changed twice while we drank two Coronas over 90 minutes.


This time we had "Elite Access" printed on our boarding passes, although neither of us really knew why, privileging us to board the flight before all the other passengers. With assigned seating the only real advantage is being able to fill the overhead compartment with your shit leaving your footspace uncluttered. We are lucky dogs, right?


Since everything was going so smoothly at Newark, we just knew that something had to go wrong. This kind of thinking helps prepare you for the inevitable at large airports, and no sooner was the door closed to the plane, the jetway pulled back, and the seat belt announcement began, did progress towards departing grind to a stop. The pilot came on the speakers announcing that a family was running across the airport to make the flight so we would wait a couple of minutes and reopen the door to let them on... "Sorry for the delay". What? Are you kidding me? The pilot must be from Tennessee and it must be her family. I have been on hundreds of flights from 10 to 400 passengers and have never seen a pilot allow late passengers get on, but ok. She said just a couple minutes and then we can get going.


The ground crew spent the next 40 minutes trying to repair the jetway so that it would work, apparently it broke as it pulled back the first time. We did get an update and another apology from the pilot and a "there is a ground delay now anyways so I guess we might as well wait here than out on the tarmac". I'm not that stupid Ms. Pilot. Had we left the gate on time we would have been in the air a full hour earlier than we were. Did I mention that the airlines add a full hour too flights into and out of Newark just to account for the delays there? Now, who is the lucky dog? What were you doing Tuesday night at 8pm? Surely it was better spent than mine.


Our 90 minute flight arrived right on time at 9:30pm, remember the add-on hour? Yes, we used it for an on-time arrival. The airline can now report this as an on-time arrival and trick us all into thinking things with them are great. We grab the car rental, luggage, and Google Map of Knoxville. The dark roads are no match for us and our map, we drive straight to the hotel in 30 minutes.


Now that it is 10pm and we haven't eaten yet, our choices of dining are rather limited. Had this been Kalamazoo we could choose from McDonalds or Taco Bell... but the hotel desk clerk tells us about a nice bar that has a kitchen open late and gives us walking directions. It takes us about 15 minutes to get there and it is still in the mid-80's and 80% humidity... the Corona has long wore off and its time for a refresher. A couple of beers and an order of nachos later the company credit card pays the bill. Maybe this is the part that earns me Lucky Dog status? We're back to the hotel by midnight.


WEDNESDAY


I'm up at 7am checking email and the days news. My coworker and I meet up for breakfast and a quick trip to Starbucks a few blocks away at 8:30am before heading to our work assignment. At 12:30pm our work for the day is done. This must be what makes me a Lucky Dog, perhaps?


Returning to the hotel to change clothes, we again ask for a meal recomendation and are directed to a mall area several blocks away but definitely walkable. Today it is in the upper 80's with no wind or respite from the humidity although it is late September. It is a nice walk and we find downtown Knoxville to be very interesting and inviting. A nice place to visit again, maybe with more time to investigate. We choose a vegetarian/vegan cafe and quickly order homemade hummus based sandwiches and iced-tea, unsweetened please. Again the company credit card buys lunch. Maybe this is why I am such a Lucky Dog?


Later around 7:30pm another coworker has flown into town and goes to dinner with us, back to the same bar as the night before so we can try the dinner menu to go along with their great beer selection. Again the company credit card takes care of the bill. Lucky Dog now? We're back to our rooms by 10pm.


THURSDAY


My first coworker has finished his work and took the first early morning flight out but my boss came in late last night, so there are three of us. We leave the hotel for Starbucks at 7:30 and get to work. Our mornings work is done in time for lunch, so we call another coworker who lives in Knoxville but also spends a lot of time in Brazil. He recommends Calhouns on the river so we meetup with him there. He strongly suggests we order the BBQ ribs since they "are the best in the US" and the "biscuits are to-die-for". I do have to say, they were the best I ever had and I've had BBQ in esteemed places like Jack Stuarts in Kansas City. After he paid with the company credit card we took the leftover biscuits down to the river so he could show us the giant Tennessee catfish competing with the ducks for bread in the water. We didn't have the heart to tell him that his giant catfish were really just carp, the garbage collectors of fresh water. Now I'm forgetting about the flight here and starting to feel like a Lucky Dog but I know that I have to head to the airport for my flight to Kalamazoo.


Arriving almost three hours early for my flight, the checkin computer offers me a chance to be on standby for a flight scheduled to leave in 30 minutes. Now, I must be a lucky dog!


I get to the gate just in time for the announcement that the plane is not there yet and should be about 25 minutes late. This gives me enough time to call home and check on my family and to do a quick email check. This flight is going to take me to Chicago for a connection with plenty of time, always a good thing if you have to change planes to another gate, especially at O'Hare where some terminals are a great distance from each other.


I find the gate and check the standby list, I'm third on the list, giving me a pretty good chance of getting on the flight. When they load the plane I wait anxiously for my name to be called... it isn't. I watch the gate agent put about half-a-dozen others on the flight who were not even on the standby list and she promptly closes the door. Damn! The next flight, my original flight, is not scheduled for another three hours.


I pull out my laptop to discover that it had not shutdown properly in Knoxville and now the battery is dead. Double damn! O'Hare does not offer many functioning outlets, unless you want to sit on the floor between the water fountain and the mens room in the main walkway. My Lucky Dog status quickly faded as I search for a comfortable place to read a book and wait.

There are three gate change announcements made as our departure time nears. One is in a completely different terminal but I knew better than to chase that rat down its hole... and just stayed put. Sure enough I wouldn't have to go anywhere. The plane we were waiting for was late. First it was five, then 10, then 15, then 45 minutes late. I grabbed a nasty ass asian chicken noodle "salad" and diet Snapple from a vendor, paying with the company credit card again, but could only had a couple bites before it repulsed me - since I wouldn't get to enjoy a decent meal in Kalamazoo. Once boarded and pulled back, the pilot then announced that all flights East from Chicago were grounded due to weather over the destination. Triple damn! Another hour later we take off for the 25 minute flight over Lake Michigan. After picking up the rental car and I get to my hotel at almost midnight.


FRIDAY


I'm up at 7am but am dragging ass now, it has been a long week. Hotel room coffee is just nasty enough to wake you up and it does the trick for me as I iron the wrinkles from ("freshen") my clothes. I'd like to grab a Starbucks on the way but am going to be late if I do. I get to my work assignment at 9am. This assignment is taking a little longer than expected and at 12:30 I am concerned. My flight leaves in one hour and I'm not ready to leave yet. If I can finish by 1pm I just might make it... but its 1:20pm before I can head to the airport. On the way I call our secretary to see if she can find out if the flight is delayed to buy me time, but no it left 5 minutes early. I ask her to find out if I can catch the second leg of the flight at 5pm in Detroit, a mere two hour drive. After some hassle with Continental customer service we discover they had bumped me from the entire flight and had given my confirmed seat to someone else already. Damn! Quick thinking was needed here... I can drive to four airports in two hours but would have to get on the road right away. Which one had a flight to Newark?


I ended up having to call myself to deal with the customer service reps. I could get on a later flight in Kalamazoo with no guarantee on the second leg for $360 more or I could drive an hour to Grand Rapids airport for a direct flight (the one I take every Friday) with an $880 refund and a slightly higher one-way rental car rate. I accept this option.


The drive between Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo is a familiar one, in no time I am dropping off the rental car and checking in. A quick look at the flight information indicates the flight is on time, so far. All indications are that it will be on time, we board and back away from the gate five minutes early. Then it happens. The pilot announces that (it is funny how this only happens as soon as you pull away from the gate, never before) Newark has bad weather and it is a busy Friday evening commute, air traffic control has said it will be at least 20 minutes before we can take off. Five minutes later the pilot updates us, now it will be another 45 minutes. Audible sighs, groans, and complaints are heard throughout the small plane. The Embardier 145 holds almost 50 people and the seat next to me is empty.



The flight attendant tries to make the best of it, teasing and joking with passengers. After several minutes she walks through offering cups of water. Next she passes out a bag of peanuts. After a while a signaling tone (the pilot summoning the attendant to call the cockpit) and shortly after she starts offering sodas but only gets to my row, the fourth row, before the pilot announces we will take off in ten minutes so everyone must shutdown their cell phones and computers.


Once in flight, about half way through the 80 minute flight, the pilot tells us that air traffic control has asked us to fly around in circles for 45 minutes because Newark is busy. More sighs and groans as we start banking to the left, somewhere over the dark forests of upstate New York. I am making good progress on my book now, almost 1/3 of the way through the Bourne Ultimatum. Once we are cleared to proceed it is clear that we are in a traffic pattern over New Jersey. I can see the landing lights of more than a dozen planes who are all following an invisible airspace Interstate. Finally we land and pull up to the gate a 90 minutes later than scheduled and find a crew waiting to get on to go onto the next flight.



I wait for my carryon suitcase to be unloaded from the cargo hold at the gate and head out to find my driver waiting by the door. He had been waiting for almost two hours but he makes the 35 mile drive in no time at all. It is 10pm after all, and traffic is light.


The stress and anxiety of the week leave me as I am dropped off in front of my house on a dark street in New Jersey. I can't wait to get inside and see my family. Now I am starting to feel like the Lucky Dog, after such a long week of traveling I get to see my wife and kids again.





So for all those who think that people with traveling jobs have the ultimate gig, let this post serve as notice. It just isn't as glamorous as you may think. Yes I did get to eat on the company card, did get to see two beautiful states (O'Hare doesn't count), and didn't have to put in 40 hours in the office with pain-in-the-ass coworkers.


I did put in my time, in fact it adds up like this:
  • Monday 9 hours
  • Tuesday 12 hours
  • Wednesday 4 hours
  • Thursday 16.5 hours
  • Friday 13.5 hours
  • Total= 53 hours


So obviously not every week goes like this it was just my turn. I do enjoy traveling and look forward to all those free vacations promised from the frequent flier miles earned through flying, hoteling, and car renting. I have over 130,000 frequent flier miles on four different airlines and three free flight vouchers for one. I just wish they could be cashed in for a dollar each, "If I had a dollar for every...".


Am I a lucky dog?


Yes! It is not the travel that earns me this status though, it is my beautiful loving family waiting for me when I get home from the road. Knowing that they are comfortable and safe while I am away makes it all worthwhile.

No comments: